in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
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