I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
Randomize
