Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
Randomize
