Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
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