there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
Randomize
