Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
Randomize
