they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
Dude, I woke up in the kitchen, naked, with a blueberry bagel as a pillow.
Can I eat your pillow?
im six kinds of drunk right now
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
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