i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
Randomize
