That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
Randomize
