I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
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