i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
I just cut my nipple shaving
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
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