C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize
