Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
Its 6am. Um if my mom for some reasons asks, you stopped by my house around ten and had some wine with me. She is concerned I drank a whole bottle by myself. Woke me at 6am to interrogate..Thank god my pounding head thinks fast.
PS We had chips too. She is less concerned about the whereabouts of the chips but still a good lie always needs detail.
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
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