I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
