Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
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