I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
he thought i was a dude.
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize
