Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
Randomize
