The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
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