sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
Randomize
