we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
Randomize
