I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
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