so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
Randomize
