i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
the "happy anniversary" cake for my mom and dad is about to turn into the "yeah, that's a hickey, welcome back from italy" cake.
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
Randomize
