Having your wife answer your cell was so lame. Maybe we can talk when you get your phone, your facebook account, and your balls back.
I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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