So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
Randomize
