it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
Sacagawea was the original milf.
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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