he told me I talked like a deaf person
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
Randomize
