Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
false alarm. still invincible.
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
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