the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
Randomize
