I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize