Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
Randomize
