Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
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