tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
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