he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
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