After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Randomize
