Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
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