Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
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