It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
Randomize
