Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize
