I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
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