I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
Randomize
