I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Randomize
