Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
When did angry sex become our thing?
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
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