last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Randomize
