I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
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