Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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