Hey man sorry I got all grabby
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
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