dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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