Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
She needs sedatives and a leash
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
Randomize
