Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
She announced her abortion via fbk
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
Randomize
