Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
Randomize
