Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
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