So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
Cracked my iPhone screen. Real bad. Girl from last night isn't ugly yet. Stop me if you still think she belongs under a bridge. You have 12 seconds.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
Randomize
