Dude someone changed all the contacts in my phone to I Like Eggs
id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
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