im drinking this country out of the recession.
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
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