Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
The sex toys I ordered are being shipped to my billing address instead of shipping address. Take a guess where they're on their way to right now - my parents' house. And the package has to be signed for so there's no way around it. Fuck.
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
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