How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
My girlfriend figured out who you are.
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
Randomize
