Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
Randomize
