I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Randomize
