strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
Randomize
