They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
My bed is full of blood and feathers
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Randomize
