You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
Randomize
