It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Randomize
