so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
Randomize
